Since I was a little girl, I had always envisioned the way I would have loved my life to be like. Meet my friends from kindergarten all the way throughout completing my university degree. Get a dream job working as a fashion designer that would soon give rise to the opportunity to move out on my own into a lavish apartment in the city. And of course, that vision also included finding that one man that would make me feel like I was appreciated, loved and accepted with all my flaws each and every day. I grew up in a loving family, with both my parents, an older brother and sister in a great neighbourhood. It felt like I had it all, my family was supportive with all my decisions and were always there for me each step of the way. My vision had partly come to life, with a group of amazing friends from all walks of life, and finally graduating and landing a job at one of the leading fashion Curiosity magazines in Australia. I was a happy girl and proud of my achievements, which made me feel like I could accomplish anything that I put my mind to. Life was great, then I met him.
Who is â€œhimâ€? His name was Shaun and he was the one that changed the way I perceived men. My ideal guy was not someone that all girls would normally swoon over. Coming across as confident and outgoing to most people that knew me, only my closest friends knew the real me. I was usually very reserved and made myself emotionally unavailable to any kind of guy that wanted to get to know me more a little better. I intentionally made my studies and career my priority, leaving me with little to no time to socialise and meet men. Besides, I always knew the right guy would come along when I wasnâ€™t out looking for him. Even though this may sound like something most, if not all girls would say and think, I believed it in a real way.
My supervisor at the time asked me to make a trip across the road and pick up some items for the office. We were extremely pressed for time and our assistant was away on leave. I had offered to quickly go and get every on the list before we left for lunch. As I was making my way down the foyer, I noticed a tall and striking guy looking my way. Of course, I didnâ€™t think he was looking at me so I completely ignored it (I was actually really good at doing that). I looked up a few times and noticed he was still looking and I thought â€œjust ignore it Michelle, youâ€™re almost out of here!â€ I had finally made it out of the doors and took a deep breath. I wasâ€™t used to a guy looking at me that intently, as if they were trying to figure out whether or not they had seen me before. I checked the time to make sure I would make it back before lunch when I heard â€œExcuse me!â€ Time stood still and I turned around.
Fast forward 3 and a half years to 4 months before our wedding. We had more than a relationship, we were best friends. Always sharing everything on our minds, communication was always golden and we couldnâ€™t be happier. We had definitely come a long way and managed to build a strong and solid world that only we belonged in. Everything was planned out. I had chosen my princess gown dress, the cake was perfect and all the invites had been sent out. During all the wedding planning, I really wanted Shaun to willingly be a part of it, but he almost always found a way to kindly turn down my offers and said â€œItâ€™s a girl thing, anything you choose will be perfect.â€ Even though I knew that wedding planning was not exactly something that guys go all crazy over, but I will wanted some input from him. Was that really too much to ask? I told my bridesmaids and maid of honour about the way I was feeling, and they simply told me that they were always going to be there for me each step of the way and there was nothing to worry about. About a month ago, Shaun had landed an executive position in a software development company. This meant longer working hours, more stress and more nights where I would end up sleeping on the couch while waiting for him to come home.
I decided to be the understanding and patient woman I have always been, but I started to notice differences in the way in which he was acting towards me. Increasingly uninterested in what I had to say, less responsive in conversations and it just felt like I was rapidly slipping down the list of his priorities. Feeling this way not long before the wedding was definitely not a pleasant feeling. Why was this happening? Why now? I know, women are usually perceived as the â€œoverthinking over analystsâ€ but it genuinely was not the case with me, I liked to be drama free and I really just wanted to concentrate on the wedding.
One night when Shaun came back home, I asked if he was hungry and he told me he had already eaten and wanted to go to bed. It must have been an overly emotional day for me, and I began to cry. He saw this and asked me what was wrong. I said nothing was wrong and he just nodded and headed into the bedroom. My emotions were being completed ignored and this really hurt me. I told one of my best friends what was happening during my lunch break the next day, and she told me she would be over at my place once she gets off work. After discussing what was going on, she had told me a passing story about how one of her ex boyfriends was acting in a similar way. Completely uninterested, coming back late from work more than what was necessary and the lack of conversation. She also mentioned something that was not actually happening to me. Random phone calls and texts that were often dismissed as â€œworkâ€ that later lead to her finding out he was cheating on her. I assured her this was not what was happening between myself and Shaun and she told me that there was probably nothing to worry about and that I was being overly sensitive before the wedding. I agreed and decided to let it all go.
I had made dinner reservations for later that night and called Shaun to meet me at the new restaurant that had opened up. I really wanted to make up for some lost time and spend some quality time together. He agreed, but told me he may have to come about half an hour later. When he arrived he was talking on his phone for about 5 minutes, and I was beginning to lose my patience fast. We finally got the opportunity to order and he seemed to be flicking through emails every 15 minutes and I decided to stop trying to make conversation. We left to go home after an hour, and got in the car. He kept getting phone calls but refused to answer them, saying it was work which I thought was strange. Then, the story my friend was telling me about struck me. Could it really be the case with me as well?
I needed to get to the bottom of this, and after hearing my friend had sought the help of Sydney Investigator for their cheating partners services, I decided to do the same. I was also being cold and distant towards Shaun until the process was over. I was getting updates daily about the progress of their investigations, as so far so good. Nothing he did seemed to be suspicious, and he was not speaking to another woman like I thought he may have been. I was beginning to feel slightly guilty but at the same time, I was relieved after finding out he was not being unfaithful. I decided to come clear with him and tell him I was getting suspicious of his actions. At first, he overreacted and was very mad at me. But a few days later, he told me he understood why I may have gotten concerned and apologised for not spending enough time with me lately. I asked him why and told him the reasons why I felt so alone, especially before the wedding.
He told me he was extremely stressed with the increased workload from his new job and that he was coming home extremely tired. I had finally felt at ease as he was making a much bigger effort to make more time for me and create many more opportunities to spend quality time together. He even began to be more involved in the wedding and I felt like our old bond was getting restored. If it wasnâ€™t for the great services offered by Sydney Investigator, I would have continued to be extremely unhappy, with uncertainty and insecurity eating up my peace of mind. Sometimes all you need is some reassurance to keep believing what you have is all you need.